Only when we experience trust
in the mother’s love—
through dreams or waking life—
can our body surrender its defenses.
Only then can it move
to a new sexuality
with woman or with man.
A mother’s love, in its highest expression, is about care, nurturing, acceptance, wisdom, and protection.
To “trust in the mother’s love” is not about the experience of our human, biological or adoptive mother, but rather the Mother with a capital “M” — the highest expression of what it means to mother.
Your present experience of being cared for, nurtured, accepted, and protected is a direct connection with the mother’s love, and it can come in many forms that are unique to every woman:
- Talking to a close friend or relative
- Receiving bodywork
- Enjoying a nutritious, delicious meal
- Reading or listening to a beloved teacher or guide
- Drinking a cup of tea
- Being in nature
- Being wrapped up up in a warm blanket
- Listening to music
- Being touched or held in a safe, supportive way
- Surrounding yourself with beauty
- Dreams, or unexpected events that signal to you that all is well
These kinds of experiences are deeply calming to the nervous system, and when our nervous system is calm, we are more open, more accessible, and more undefended.
Thankfully, we have the ability and the power to give ourselves this kind of nurturing, acceptance, and protection — the kind of mother’s love that many of us long for.
Giving to ourselves in this way is the bridge between trusting in the mother’s love and our sexuality.
When we think of trust and sexuality, the focus is usually on our partner and whether or not we can trust her/him. While trust in a potential sexual partner is important, trust in your ability to protect, care for, and accept yourself is even more important. If you aren’t resourced with self-trust, you will naturally need to hold back parts of yourself in order to feel safe.
Being resourced with your inner “mother’s love” allows you to open emotionally and sexually to a partner.
When you care for and stand for yourself as your fiercest ally, you will be able to stay true to your reality when connecting sexually with a partner — trusting that your “yesses” and your “nos” are completely in alignment with your needs and desires.
Invitations for reflection, exploration, and action:
- When do I experience the “mother’s love” in dreams or waking life? In other words, what gives me the feeling of being cared for, nurtured, accepted, or protected?
- What does self-trust mean to me?
- How might my trust in the “mother’s love” open me to a new sexuality?
© Vicki Tidwell Palmer (2021)
Coming Home to Myself: Reflections for Nurturing a Woman’s Body and Soul (©1998)
By Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick
(Reprinted with permission)
*This post is from the Coming Home to You Series. Visit this page for the backstory of the CHTY Series.