After my last post Write a New Story—in which I encouraged you to begin viewing your past wounds as the raw material for a new life story—I did a live video talking about how our wounds are portals or doorways to other more expansive and life-affirming experiences.
A listener provided some powerful feedback that I wanted to share with you:
I really liked what you pointed about how there is always community and support for our wounds if we choose to get stuck there. I believe it can become almost like an addiction. Moving away from community support forces us to hold ourselves accountable for our own healing. And that is SO scary. Which is probably why we get stuck in our stories. Your words are the gentle push I needed to acknowledge the ways in which I am fused to my wounds. I am going to do the work to be free and write a new story. Thank you.
You are so welcome! I love the courage of this listener — acknowledging that in some ways she is fused to her wounds and committing to write a new story.
I also want to zero in for a moment on what I see as the seven most powerful words this listener offered:
If we choose to get stuck there.
Getting stuck in our wounds is tempting, and it is a choice.
The sad truth is that our wounds can become so much a part of our identity that they are like an obsession—even an addiction. If they become the primary focus of our lives, we may feel as though we don’t have a choice.
If you think, “Well, it’s not my fault I have to deal with this. I don’t have a choice about what happened to me,” you are only partially right. You may not have had power over what happened to you in the past, but you have complete power about how you respond and how you move forward, starting today.
Yet when it comes to changing the nature of our relationship with our wounds, the how can feel confusing or daunting. If you want to cure yourself of your wound addiction and stop identifying with what’s happened to you—if you want to write a new story—there are concrete steps you can take.
In my next post I will share those steps with you. In the meantime, I invite you to reflect on this question: “How might my wound(s) be the raw material for the life I want to create?”
© Vicki Tidwell Palmer (2021)