Desire is Your North Star

Desire is a dangerous word.

What emotions do you feel when you hear the word “desire?” Do you feel anticipation, joy, or delight? Or do you feel apprehension, fear, or maybe even aversion or dread?

If you’re like most women, you’re not entirely comfortable with the word desire, especially in this unprecedented and unpredictable season we’re living through now.

Your world may have been reduced to the confines of your home, and thinking about what you desire or want may seem frivolous — or even useless.

But that’s a story, like so many other stories, women tell themselves about why they can’t have what they want. Or worse, they’ve decided that it’s pointless to pay attention to their desires, keeping them locked away and hidden.

These dreams must see the light of day — for the sake of the woman they belong to, and the world.

I hold a vision of women emancipating this powerful word from its usual associations focused narrowly on the physical body, sex, or lust.

Desire — in its most elevated and expansive meaning — must be returned to its rightful place in a woman’s heart and soul.

Your desires may be just below the surface, or they may be submerged a little deeper in your subconscious. Or maybe they  have disappeared into the deepest part of the dark ocean of your awareness, weighted down by discouragement, disappointment, or even abuse.

But they are there.

Sometimes desires bubble up to the surface and invite your attention. Sometimes when they’ve been submerged too long they suddenly and unexpectedly flare with a vengeance. They may come out sideways as envy, hatred, jealousy, comparing yourself to someone you admire, or even as rage.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Your desires — however small or grand — are vital. They are vital to you, and they are vital to the world. We need your desires now more than ever.

I invite you to close your eyes for just 15 seconds and courageously ask yourself, “What do I desire?” You may be surprised by what you hear.

When you ask what you desire, you may hear, “I want to quit my job and stay home with my children,” or, “I want to be a photographer for National Geographic,” or, “I want more alone time,” or “I want to solve climate change,” or, “I want to have a baby,” or, “I want to write a book.”

The beauty of stating desires is that they are always right. Every time.

Sadly, when a woman tells herself the truth about what she desires, another voice often chimes in. This voice is not her authentic self, but it is loud and persistent. It replies with some version of, “That’s stupid,” or, “You can’t have that,” or, “Yeah, you already tried that, and it didn’t work out. Why don’t you just give up?”

Can you feel the pain and disappointment in these words? They are toxic desire-killers, and most of us are intimately familiar with them.

Unacknowledged and unexpressed desires are a tried and true recipe for pain, disappointment, and bitterness. Conscious desires — on the other hand — sometimes result in receiving far and beyond what you thought was possible.

If you struggle to know what you want, or to identify what you desire, or if you consistently discount or talk yourself out of what you know you would love, there are specific practices and actions you can take to discover your authentic desires, honor yourself, and become your fiercest ally.

The path from wounding to wholeness begins with each woman returning to her authentic self, reclaiming her truth, and opening to receive what is meant for her.

I call this journey The Radiant Threefold Path of Return+Reclaim+Receive.

The journey starts with knowing exactly who you are — body, mind and soul. Returning to you is the essential first step toward realizing your dreams and desires.

When you reclaim your authentic feminine nature, you stand for yourself by becoming your fiercest ally and most loyal protector. When you express your authentic truth, you become magnetic — inviting everything to you that is meant for you.

Receiving is the essence of feminine power. Receiving begins with taking empowered ownership of your happiness, and realizing the power you already have to manifest the desires of your heart. And from this place of abundance, you offer your unique gifts to the world — radiantly empowered.

The Radiant Threefold Path invites every woman into a process of returning to the truth of her authentic self, knowing and claiming her desires, and receiving — the essence of feminine power.

In my next post I’ll share how you can begin excavating and uncovering your truth, your hidden desires, and the path that leads to you, radiantly empowered. I’ll also be sharing some exciting news about a brand new opportunity to work directly with me on a journey through the Radiant Threefold Path!

Click here for The Radiant Threefold Path Maiden Voyage


© Vicki Tidwell Palmer (2020)

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    • Maria says

      Thank you Vicki! I RETURNED from a separation after crying out to the Lord and I clearly heard one word from above, “RECLAIM!” I’ve been praying and asking Him for the grace to RECEIVE since my return and I am delighted today to come across your message that is an answer to my prayers.

  1. Melissa says

    Perfectly-timed posts as I find myself on a journey I didn’t ask for. I am determined to uncover myself under years of self sacrifice and mis-placed trust in others.

    • Kathi says

      I am having the same feelings you are Melissa. I did not ask for this. I am coming up on the one year anniversary of “D day” and it is bringing up lots of emotions of how my life has been flipped upside down. I very much want to find my own self and release him from mine. I don’t know what is in my future or if he will be part of it, but what I know is I have to find strength to be my own person and be confident in that.

  2. Hannah says

    I did the 15 minute walk through my house and saw that most of my things were from resale shops or were worn out. The things I considered mine and not household goods that I bought with my husband were gifts but nothing said ‘me’. I felt sad that I got to this point … boring clothes, where did I become so bland and passive? I never buy feminine clothes nor wear dresses… they look like ugly curtains on me. But oddly I want to be more feminine and not so harsh. I just don’t know where to start without feeling I have something to fix.

  3. Rita says

    I desire to find out who I really am; who God created me to be before it got crushed out of me. After years of mental and emotional abuse from my dad to husbands.
    I’m tired of basically reliving the same movie with a different leading man expecting a different ending! But I’ll never make my dad happy. Because I need to break free of prison that started in childhood where females were/are less than no matter what you’ve accomplished, for the simple fact that you’re female!
    I desire to love ME, whoever that is, and see myself as the wonderfully and fearfully made child of God that I am!
    I desire to BE the right person and not just want the right person. Then I can attract the right person; instead of my dad in different skin.
    I desire to be healthy, healed and whole. Instead making an idol of a man in the hope that he’ll “fix” me. Because I think I’m “less than” a man; therefore need a man to “fix” me. Only God can heal me. And he is not a man that he should lie!
    I desire to live and not be afraid to live. I want to be strong and courageous.
    Last, but not least, I desire to travel and not be afraid to travel.

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The deepest experience of the creator is feminine, for it is experience of receiving and bearing.”

Rainer Maria Rilke