Who am I?
What are my values?
What are my needs?
Am I true to myself?
Do I betray myself?
What are my feelings?
Am I capable of love?
Am I true to my love?
The answer to any one of these questions could take as many words as it would take to write a novel.
At any given moment, reviewing this list of questions offers you an invitation to tune into yourself so that you can discover which one resonates inside you at the moment.
Exploring your answers to even one of these questions requires courage, vulnerability, a passion to know the truth, and self-honesty.
If you sincerely explore them, you will very likely come face-to-face with your own hypocrisy, your self-betrayal, and the control that lurks just beneath the surface of most women’s lives.
For example, when you ask, “Am I true to my love?” what comes to mind?
There are at least two ways to receive and explore this question. One way is through the lens of fidelity — “Am I true to my beloved or those I love?”
Another way to explore the question is, “Am I true to what I say I love?” In other words, am I loyal or faithful to what I profess to love, whether that is myself, my spouse, my country, or anyone else?
Another way to ask the question is, “Do my words match my actions?”
If I claim to love myself but my inner self-talk is riddled with self-hatred and self-loathing, then I am not true to my love.
If I claim to love my spouse but I demand that he behave in the way I think he should behave, feel what I want him to feel, or think the thoughts I want him to think, am I being true to my love?
The only honest answer is No.
To be capable of love means to allow (as if we can “allow” anyone to do anything) the other to believe, feel, and live their life according to their values and vision. We may not like their choices and we may need to protect ourselves from their choices, but ultimately love is about allowing, and never about controlling.
If you desire a deep, piercing inquiry into your authentic truth and inner knowing, these eight clarifying questions will lead you there.
Invitations for reflection, exploration, and action:
- Re-read the eight questions in today’s reflection, tune in to your body, and discover which one resonates with you the most right now.
- Sit down with pen and paper (not a device unless you must!), set a timer for 10 minutes and write your authentic answer to your chosen question without stopping. If you’re concerned that someone else will read what you have written, immediately shred it, burn it, or keep your writing in a secure place where only you can access it.
© Vicki Tidwell Palmer (2021)
Coming Home to Myself: Reflections for Nurturing a Woman’s Body and Soul (©1998)
By Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick
(Reprinted with permission)
*This post is from the Coming Home to You Series. Visit this page for the backstory of the CHTY Series.